BY REV DR JOHN FRAUENFELDER
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, but always with the same person.
– Mignon McLaughlin
It’s important to see your marriage for what it truly is: a lifelong process. Just as you’re on a journey through life, so is your relationship with your partner. Each of you will grow and change as individuals, and in turn your life together will evolve. By embracing that, you give yourself and your loved one permission to become your best, most genuine selves.
Communication is probably the most important facet in dealing constructively with change. It seems like that should be obvious, right? But in the scheme of the daily grind, authentic, life-giving communication can be the first casualty. When the two of you talk, make sure it’s not always about the bills to pay, lawns to be mowed, or whose family is hosting Christmas dinner this year.
When you open up and share all of yourself without fear, you make room for the other to plant their love more deeply in your hearts.
Rather than focus on what your routine and responsibilities prevent you from doing, flip the script and look for ways all those seemingly mundane tasks can become opportunities to spend time with partner. Need to run errands? Ask your oldest child to watch the younger ones, and turn that errand into a mini-date, complete with a coffee and cake before heading home.
Jennifer Scroggins suggests that “even setting aside 10-15 minutes a day for just the two of you can make a huge difference. Laugh together, pray together, and enjoy the silence of sleeping children. Whatever you do, just savour the moment.”
• What are some of the struggles you have faced as a couple?
• How do you keep your marriage a priority?
• How do children change the dynamic of your marriage?
Heavenly Father, you called us together in love.
We promised, one to another, to be faithful to your call,
To have, to hold, to love, to cherish, in good times and bad,
In sickness and health, always to be faithful.
Give us a “marriage shower” of your love.
Help us, again, to open our hearts to grace, to that love you show us most deeply
In the eyes of our loved one, across the coffee table, on the pillow –
Wherever you bring us on our journey of faith, together.