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1. Perhaps the rules for church weddings are too tough for today's generation - maybe it is better if they have a civil ceremony first and then make a church commitment later.

   Posted By: pat

2. Given the crisis in the church with regard to matters sexual, it seems an understandable trend that those choosing to be married are seeking support from more reliable sources.
   I agree with Pat...if there is to be a church/sacramental marriage then maybe a 5 year civil trial should be seen as the preparation for this life time commitment
   

   Posted By: Theresa Davis

3. It is arguably good that the State provides a secular marriage option for those who have no faith, so that they don't feel socially obliged to hypocritically go through a religious ceremony which means nothing to them. But the Australian government has gone too far with the introduction of so-called "civil celebrants". After nominal "training" absolutely anyone can set up a for-profit business as a "celebrant". And many of the "marriages" they conduct are marriages in name only. Not only no preparation, but no real commitment to fidelity or for life, and no real openness to children. It's just an excuse for a big party, an appeal for gifts and sometimes a sop to worried parents. This devalues ALL marriages, and leads the way to proposals for such preposterous monstrosities as so-called "same sex partnerships" and "marriages" between humans and animals. I believe Australia is the only non-Communist country in which a majority of "marriages" are non-religious. This is a national disgrace.

   Posted By: Ronk

4. Civil celebrants operate profitable businesses. One told me he was happy to see the rate of divorce so high because it gave him more chance of repeat work. So much for civil celebrants' interest in pre-marriage preparation.

   Posted By: Paul W

5. I agree with you Ronk...
   
   Last Saturday I attended a civil garden wedding of my friend's niece and it was my second time to attend a civil wedding. A week before the wedding, my friend (the auntie of the bride) rang me to make a prayer as requested by the celebrant for the ceremony. I said, "it's a very good idea". Anyway, during the ceremony I was surprised that the celebrant also had included in the wedding rites a psalm prayer, and there was a spiritual/religious tone in the event. The parents of the bride and the groom were the ones who blessed the rings. And what came to my mind was, "If civil marriage rites have ingredients of opening prayer, psalm and bible text reading, and blessing of the rings etc, etc. then civil marriages will attract more customers and people who have no faith or even those with faith but don't understand the sacredness of church marriages, will certainly opt for civil wedding if they can find any similarities. It seems that celebrants can create anything they like to make the ceremony more "saleable". I don't really know about marriage celebrants because it's not popular in my country of origin but I'll have to research if all civil marriage celebrants have a standard/uniform rites or can they just put any "icing to their cakes" to make them more saleable and attractive...

   Posted By: zita

6. Pat and Theresa,
   
   Good idea! Let's pander to the selfishness of people rather than insist on something better. Jesus must be so happy that you are so accommodating.
   
   

   Posted By: Paul Keen

7. How sad that these marriages are making their own lives more difficult right from the start. Perhaps those who are whining about premarital counselling are whining about having to actually be married too... "What, I have to be with this guy for the rest of my life?"
   Marriage is difficult and you need God's blessings and help to survive. It's the truth.

   Posted By: Beth

8. I coordinate the Marriage Relationship Education Program with CatholicCare, in the Sydney Archdiocese. I have been an educator for over 6 years, and have worked with well over a thousand couples in this time.
   
   It is no secret that most couples who attend our courses do not do so by choice, but in order to provide their priest with a Certificate of Attendance.
   
   Most couples are resentful at first. They feel it is another expense on top of wedding costs, they feel that they do not need 'counselling', they feel they they have no choice in whether to attend, and very frequently, they expect the course to be purely about religious instruction. Many couples feel especially apprehensive that their life choices (such as living together, or being in a pre-marital sexual relationship) will be judged and condemned in the light of Church teachings.
   
   It is, perhaps, less known that by the end of a course, most if not all couples tell us they were 'surprised, but in a good way', by how useful the program was for them.
   
   Marriage preparation with CatholicCare today focuses on helping couples to build awareness of their own and each other's habits and emotional needs, teaching them to pick up on negative patterns in their interaction, and coaching them in more constructive communication and problem solving skills. We help them to reflect on big ticket topics like family upbringing and what they are bringing with them into their new family, and how they hope to practice and reaffirm their faith as married couples, as families.
   
   Most importantly, I know that only when we do this important work in a respectful, inclusive, open, non-judgmental way, do couples engage, connect and learn. They also much open to exploring their connection with the Church, both now, and in future, when they have children.
   
   Research shows that marriage preparation works - in decreasing problem intensity, giving couples important skills, and also, making them more open to seek help early if problems arise.
   
   So the way we work with couples, and better community awareness of what couple education involves, are essential to make sure this great service reaches couples.
   
   

   Posted By: Diana

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